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I wonder if I'll ever stop feeling sad and missing Kirby.  When he was here, I was never really alone.

"The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man's."  -Mark Twain

As I sit here later in the evening, I am reminded of how much I miss Kirby's company at times like these.  After he became immobile, he would lay on the couch or on his mat on the floor and snooze.  I really miss listening to his rhythmic, heavy breathing while he slept.....he just seemed so peaceful.  A lot of times I would have to wake him up before carrying him upstairs to go to bed.  He would be sleeping so soundly that he didn't wake until I touched his head.  Near the end of Kirby's life, I always wondered about how comfortable he really was in his condition....I think he was truly comfortable when he was sleeping...I sure hope wherever he is now he sleeps just as peacefully.  Rest well old man....

Today is Kirby's Birthday.  He'd be 13 today.  We never really celebrated his birthday in the past.  I'm kind of wishing we had.  I guess we should always do what we can, when we can, before it's too late.  Happy Birthday Kirby.  

It's been 2 months since Kirby has been gone.  I might be getting used to him not being here, but it doesn't feel any easier or less sad.  I still catch myself thinking he's here when I'm first waking up, or tired.  I'll think.. "oh, I've got to see if he wants to go out.. "  and well, I'm sure those of you who have dealt with this kind of thing know what I'm talking about.

I did think of a couple of things that made me laugh a little to remember.  Kirby used to wrestle with Corky, a friend of his since he was a pup.  They use to wrestle and chase each other till they were exhausted.  Then they'd sleep a little.  Kelley found a couple of pics of them wrestling.

I also remember when I used to feed the squirrels nuts.  I'd have a big bowl of nuts and Kirby would see me feeding the squirrels.  Of course, he decided he wanted some of what they were having.  I gave him a few and was impressed when he cracked the nuts open and ate the inside meat and left the shells.  I thought for sure I'd have to take them away from him if he tried to eat the shells.  I don't know if he watched the squirrels opening the nuts and eating the insides.. or if it was just some doggie instinct to not eat the shells.  I'm leaning towards him learning by watching the squirrels and I eat the nuts.  He was always a very observant dog.  He'd study things.. stare at them.. learn about them before acting.  At least.. that's what I think he was doing.  He always seemed to have the approach that it's best not to go wading in until you figure out exactly what you're facing.  He took a long time to warm up to people too.. very cautious.  

 "You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us"  -Robert Louis Stevenson

A few of Kirby's "rules" as I remember them....

Never eat your food until you're sure that nobody else in your pack has anything tastier than what you've been given.  If somebody does have a tastier dish, then by all means be sure to get some of it before eating your food.

The "roll over" command is pure nonsense and should never even be considered without growling or vocalizing some sort of disapproval.  Then, just to get the last word in, never roll over all the way--this really emphasizes your displeasure with such a silly trick!

Insist on going for a walk everyday.  If it's past time to go, be sure to stare daggers until some motion occurs.  If the daggers alone don't work, throw in some incessant barking.  That will get things moving!

If you have a doggie door, here's a neat trick.  You don't have to go all the way through the door to see what's going on.  Just stick your head through the door and have a good look and/or sniff to see what's going on in the house or outside, depending on which way you're facing.
Kirby always liked to do this when it was freezing cold outside and let a nice blast of cold air in the house.

Another snowy day.. it's extra cold and the powder is extra fine.  Kirby would approve.  As much as I hate snow, I'd gladly go play in it with him now..

It's in the single digits outside now.. well below freezing.  This was Kirby's favorite weather.  The more snow the better.  It was like crack to him.  He'd burry his head deep in the snow and take big sniffs of the stuff.  It made my brain freeze just watching him.  He'd roll in it, dive in it, run through it, roll over on his back and slide down a hill like a penguin or a seal.  And he'd still be panting.  Even walking in single digit weather he'd still be panting.  He'd fall asleep under his favorite bushes ouside at night.  Usually around 1 or 2 am you could hear him come in the doggy door and come upstairs to sleep next to or on the bed.  His fur would be freezing cold and he'd smell like a campfire from all the local woodstoves.  I hope he has as much snow as he wants now.

During the past year and a half or so, I'd take half a day off of work on a Friday.  I'd come home early after hitting up the grocery store for a weekend full of junk.  I'd get Kirby a couple of roaster quarter chicken legs.. the perdue brand.. already cooked and fresh and warm from the market.  I'd also get some big fat juicy hot dogs and some chili sauce.  Friday after unpacking the groceries, I'd shred some of the chicken and give it to Kirby.  He knew the routine.. and it brough me great joy to give him something he enjoyed.. chicken, turkey and hot dogs were his favorite foods.. After the chicken, I'd take him out to do his business.  Then, I'd put him up on the couch and put an ice pack under his belly.. he loved ice packs.. or laying in the snow.. he was most comfortable at freezing temperatures.. Must have been his thick coat.  I'd put the chili dogs on, and sit next to him while they were cooking.  He'd get restless every time I moved.. as if to say.. HEY.. are they done yet? 

I remember when he was just a pup.. I'd cook some hot dogs and give him one.  That's back when I had the lowfat variety.. In his early days, I tried to make him eat healthy... anyways, I'd give him a whole hot dog, and he'd put the whole thing in his mouth lengthwise so you couldn't even see it.  He'd carry it around nervously like he had some prize that the pack would attack him for in order to steal it.  I felt bad for him.. he didn't realize that he needn't worry about anybody attacking him while I was around.. it wasn't till later in life that he felt comfortable with a prize like that in my presence.  I was honored that he learned to trust me.  He took his time making friends.. you certainly had to prove yourself to him.

Well.. tonight is Friday.. so I've had the usual fare in his honor.. Hopefully.. where he is now, he's having something just as good or better.. 

"Ask of the beasts and they will teach you the beauty of this earth."   -St. Francis of Assisi

Just recently, I had to say goodbye to one of my dearest friends.  His name was Kirby--a Welsh Corgi with a gentle and beautiful spirit.  Kirby's death was especially hard because I made the decision to have him euthanized.  Euthanasia is supposed to be a gentle and easy death....I sure hope it was like this for Kirby.

I remember when I first met Kirby.  I came home from work and there was this strange red dog with a head and ears that were way too big for his body.  He was really scared of me.  He didn't yet realize that I was just a big softie, and I hadn't realized yet that he hadn't been around people for the first 6 months of his life.  He had spent his life playing with other animals on a farm in Ohio.  It took him some time to warm up to me.  I remember quite a few times taking him on a walk that he seemed eager to take, but then a few hundred yards from the house he would panic and try and run home as fast as he could.. me running behind him trying to keep up seemed to scare him even more.   It didn't take him long to realize that I was a big playtoy and was good for wrestling with and gnawing on.  I think he realized that about the same time he realized that I was a good source of food.